A Lot Ado About Making Love With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It’s been a huge few days for homosexual-related very first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual guides!

Our basic portion concerns you via xojane, the women’s internet site oriented upwards by Jane Pratt (my champion)

(i am significant) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Titled »
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,» this piece is part of the «It Happened for me» feature that also existed at JANE journal and consists mostly of writer/reader-submitted accounts of subjectively interesting personal encounters.

The private author of this piece, whom I’ll phone «Ariel,» is actually bisexual, but because she readily provides strike jobs to her male associates but doesn’t date or frequently go-down on women, she’s, she describes, officially, just a »

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.» (She also relates to by herself as «mostly straight» and «directly» at various other points in story.) Her reputation began, she clarifies, whenever the woman first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke named Kelly at her college — took place on her for an hour. She la-la-la-loved it following right away fled the world fearing her own inability to perform these types of great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a prolonged duration.

She writes:

«obviously, term got around that she and I had hooked up and this I’d remaining their holding, which in fact had the strange aftereffect of providing myself folk-heroine position. Kelly also known as myself a «pillow princess,» and henceforth, I became one. It actually was like some kind of film conceit in which the character is mistaken for a celebrity and reaches ride in a limo and remain in a fancy lodge considering it.»

This evidently completely resolved in her benefit, as she romped about in university setting up with lots of «aggressive types whom got down in the idea that I happened to be reluctant to let a girl touch me.» Post-college, she moved on towards the internet, where she marketed the lady relaxed position and frequently met up with women for NSA sex.

Near the conclusion she problematically describes that whenever connecting with a female she’s perhaps not keen on, she just shuts the woman sight and envisions someone else «while [the lesbian] does her thing.» Often it seems like she wants females to consume the woman out just because they truly are presumably much better at it than guys are. She

could

go down on it but «I’m not internet dating them, and I don’t think I would personally want to have my personal fetish corrupted by caring for somebody sufficient to surrender.»

I mightnot want to stay alongside Ariel on an aircraft, but her one-sided intimate encounters are consensual and she’s only telling a real tale of the woman existence, therefore I’m not certain things to make of this (and I’m curious to know what you will be making of it, if anything).

After that, on Jezebel (via
The Nice Men Project
) we’ve
I hitched a Lesbian (and I also’m a man)
. Mcdougal, Hugo Schwyzer, «tended attain crushes for a passing fancy sort of girl: the star basketball player, the soccer onward, the swimmer. Some happened to be lesbians. Some weren’t.» He questioned:

What is it that drew myself frequently to women that had been same-sex drawn? It surely wasn’t the stereotypical male dream in what they certainly were carrying out during intercourse, and it certainly had nothing in connection with a macho notion that i really could turn a gay woman right.

In components, the part (which really does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded myself for this offer from

The Girls Next-door

,
which I cited in articles about feminine manliness
:

«â€¦if we’d in order to make one other generalization about lesbian flavor, it could be that a lot of united states are powerfully keen on females, gay or right, beautiful or otherwise not, whom look as though they can handle on their own.»

The writer ultimately marries a lesbian just who delivered as right, and then he discovered their causing sex life getting unsatisfactory. She would not provide him strike jobs and failed to like entrance but joyfully approved their offerings of cunnilingus. When their unique sexless marriage ended in divorce proceedings and a drug relapse (for him), he’s relatively caring to their ex-wife’s struggle in place of labeling her as deceptive (as much regarding the commenters would):

She had come from a traditional family members that would happen profoundly embarrassed for a gay kid. She may will have recognized, but did this lady far better hide it, maybe wanting that the woman feelings might transform. Or she might-have-been like more than a few ladies I’ve identified, and just found the woman genuine intimate identification after already getting hitched to a man.

What exactly is redeeming about that article for me that the writer’s conception of their own gender is usually without the conventional male posturing any might count on in a bit such as this (the guy actually describes himself as «femmy»). Perhaps it seems that way because guys therefore rarely talk about hoping strong, sports, effective women with short hair; but it is energizing nevertheless.

I really don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for advising their own tales, but it’s really worth pointing out that both narratives apparently ride from the idea that room behavior may be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s business, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a «warning sign» the guy missed, when entrance is actually scarcely an exclusively heterosexual act (it seems more likely Courtney dreaded the intimacy of entrance with a guy she don’t truly want to get with, but really you never know) and falling crazy, in the end, is all about your snatch but it’s also regarding the heart and it is mainly about having intimate feelings. Those passionate emotions are just what transforms a hook-up relationship into a relationship, most likely.

At long last at

neurological.com

there is a nice tale directly from pony’s mouth area —
My Personal First-time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. I believe this is the first time the «first-time» series provides presented a lesbian.

Essentially, in ninth level, mcdougal confessed to the woman best friend that she had lesbian feelings on her behalf, along with her best friend reciprocated, and proceeded to carry on a covert lesbian commitment and are however together today and this woman is a grown-up for the army!

It appears they will have however to get their own connection out of the dresser, which can be somewhat puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: Looks like this story was authored before DADT ended up being repealed, although it just adopted posted, for that reason there’s nothing puzzling going on here. This is just straight-up nice in every single way, unequivocally.]

The main focus of portion (and that’s really adorable and nice) is on mcdougal’s advancement of
exactly what lesbian gender IS
:

We had never come down for each different, and I ended up being pretty sure that is what we would meant as soon as we mentioned we planned to have sex. (Now we recognize that there is even more to fucking than slurping a girl’s snatch and phoning it everyday.)

She concludes:

I understand that a lot of men and women disagree by what virginity ways to a gay woman, but virginity is very subjective, plus it truly depends on who you’re inquiring. Many people might say penetration needs to be involved, but i believe its around the person shedding his or her virginity. If I feel just like I missing my personal virginity, next goddammit, You will find!

I invested almost all of the early morning and mid-day staring at word press, trying to puzzle out just what point i really could make about any of these parts. I thought alot about why we’d never distribute «I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess» on this internet site but cannot see through the reason that I would fear 50 people would vow to never go back here additionally the remaning many-thousands of you would fight with one another about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure until the heating loss of the universe. We envisioned some one publishing «I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess» to all of us via email and I imagined the article meeting in which we might can that story and all sorts of say «NO» in addition.

In trying to find a place to gleam from the stories, i have tried to figure out what might believe or say, and that I can’t, and I also need to complete this blog post at the earliest opportunity to improve the procedure of me learning what you think about these tales. Yup, for the first time since beginning Autostraddle, i have got no idea things to say about a thing. Very possibly i will merely want to know — what is your response to these pieces?